Prolific

If you haven't noticed by now, there is no theme to my blog that I can decipher at this point. I write about what's on my mind. I write about what's on my heart. I write about my betrothal to the King of the universe.

I just sorted through all my songs and poems. I counted how many songs I have written in the past 10 years. The total is 49. That averages to about 2 and a half songs every month. If a recording artist produces an album with 10 songs on it and puts out a new album every 2 years then they would have to write 50 songs in 10 years. Can I claim to be a prolific lyricist yet? Can I claim to be a consistent and hard working songwriter who has the potential to earn a living doing what I love? All I need is for someone to invest in me, market me well and keep believing in my ability. I know the perfect agent.

He will never demand more of me than is right. He will always believe I am capable and He will always provide me with material from which I can draw inspiration for my new songs. He will make sure I'm paid well and I'll never want for anything. He will open doors that no one can shut and he will shut doors I really don't want opened in the first place. He'll protect me from the craziness of the industry and its corruption and he'll protect me from my own self getting wrapped up in it. He'll remind me who I am when my had gets inflated and He'll pick up the pieces of my broken heart when I feel rejected and unappreciated. If I get burned out, He will give me rest in every way I need it. He has connections out of this world and I will never have to compromise my convictions to get ahead or get recognized. He will never give up on me, even if I get writers block for an indefinite period of time. He won't sell me out or betray me. When my career is over and I am no longer able to accomplish one more thing for Him, He'll be the one to walk me through the transition into eternal retirement. And then we'll start all over again with a whole new set of abilities and goals and purposes that will never end. The struggle will be over, but the challenges that make it fun will go on and on. There will be joy without end and an audience who will always love me and want to hear my latest creation.

Yeah, I don't know any earthly agents like that. I don't know anyone like that, but Jesus Himself.

Fact is. I have no guarantee that my dreams are even in God's will. All I have is prayer that offers my talents, gifts and desires at His feet and pleads with Him to conform them to His. Then I'll be content no matter if my songs hide in a binder under my bed for the rest of my life, or I sing only for the forgotten elderly folks in the nursing home, or my family, or my church, or my well hidden YouTube channel. If my recordings stay tucked in a drawer for no one to ever appreciate, its alright. I don't write to make money, get famous or be recognized for my talents. I write because my songs are the children of love between God and I. He fills my heart with songs and I put them on paper, cassette and CD. I enjoy the process and the relationship that makes the process enjoyable.

I do want to share my gifts with others. I want them to hear my heart and marvel at the work Christ has done in me. I want to bless them and encourage their hearts through the songs that my suffering and pain and failure produced. I want to be known for who I am, but if that is all that it is, it is not enough. If my gifts don't point to the Creator of this creator than it is all in vain and worthless. If I can't disappear enough to reveal the One who dwells within me than I am just a clanging symbol and a distraction. If it isn't His Love flowing through me than I am just a resounding gong and a temptation to worship something or someone other than the One worthy of all worship and adoration.

So, I write, I play my guitar and I sing at my Church with all my heart. I take the opportunities that God gives me and I wait patiently for the revelation of His will. I bless those who receive my blessing and I offer my blessings to all. I cry when the blessing is rejected or my creation is not appreciated to the degree I had hoped for. I tell Jesus about it and He holds me and whispers to me how proud He is of me and how delighted He is to have me for a daughter and a servant. Life with Jesus goes on and I do the best I can to obey His command to Love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and might. And I try to Love others more than myself.

I love you, whoever you are reading this. More than that, Jesus Loves you and He's the One who gives me Love for you.

Peace to you and yours through Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace!