Anxiety

I have no real set idea about how address this issue in my blog, but I'm just going to offer my stream of consciousness on the matter and hope something comprehensive comes forth.

I have struggled with anxiety since I was an infant. I didn't even know it was called anxiety until I was 20 years old. I always referred to it as shy or nervous or scared. I thought at one point that it was depression because I grew up with a very thorough knowledge of what depression was. I just assumed I was depressed because I was unhappy and angry at how bad I felt all the time.

Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand. I think I did develop clinical depression after so many years of constant anxiety, but I don't believe my depression was as problematic as the anxiety. Depression was a byproduct of feeling hopeless about the anxiety I couldn't seem to control. Depression is more complicated than anyone really understands and one clinical explanation of it does not nearly cover all the symptoms that can be manifested during an episode of this kind of condition. Anxiety is also more complicated than we can understand.

Anxiety is an experience of the whole person. Those who segment it into just a spiritual issue or just a chemical imbalance or even just a mental disorder are doing a grave injustice in their endeavors to alleviate it. It takes an understanding of the many aspects of the human experience to gain a more broad and fuller view of the possibilities for any one condition of anxiety. I find this to be true of my own experience with debilitating anxiety. I feel very cheated when people want to label me mentally ill or crazy or even chemically imbalanced because of my symptoms, especially when they don't know why I am feeling the way I do.

If a child is raped when they are 5 years old and the experience frightens them. Does that mean that when they are diagnosed with PTSD that they are crazy? No! They were the victim. The perpetrator has sinned against that child and now that child is dealing with the consequences of the perpetrators sin whether it is fair or not. A door was slammed open in that child's heart and a stronghold of fear was created. It would be mournfully re-injuring to then tell this fragile victim that they are crazy for feeling the way they do.

There are grown up childhood abuse victims walking around all over the place. Some are suffering very deeply with things like depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations and destructive lifestyles to manage the suffering. Childhood rape is an extreme example, but one that most people would identify as heinous and destructive to the victim, but there are many more experiences of children that are abusive that may not get the attention of others. Neglect, unhealthy family environments...and the list goes on. These all are reasons for a child to develop anxiety and carry it into adulthood.

I am not a Psychologist, but I have talked to enough of them and I have a sister who is one, and I have experienced what the books teach, first hand. I've lived it and I have a definite passion to help those who are suffering with it. First I have to find my way out, or my life within it and then I'll be happy to share what I know with anyone interested in what I have learned.

Thanks for listening/reading. Jesus bless you! PFY.